A Classic Goodbye
Nearly four years ago I was fresh out of college, officially living and working in a new city an hour and a half away from home, and getting married in two months. Throughout college, I rode, worked at my barn, and taught lessons when I was home on breaks. But now that I was living in my college town 12 months out of the year instead of just 9, it was time to find some horses here.
A series of contacts led me to discover Tracie, who works at my Alma Mater, attended a church that was one of my clients, and also happened to have horses. I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me. But I sent her an email anyway, telling her about my horse background, that I was looking for someone who needed help exercising or training their horses, and some people she could talk to for personal recommendations. I was going out on a limb for this, knowing she could say “no way” to some complete stranger asking to ride her horses.
But five minutes later, there was a new message in my inbox.
It was more of a book than an email, really. Tracie was thrilled. She and her husband Dave had recently bought two young horses to make their herd four, and didn’t have as much time for the original two horses. They also needed someone with horse experience who could provide animal care on the few occasions they went away.
A few weeks later, I met her face to face and went to their house for lunch, where we spent several hours getting to know each other. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
A Classic Thoroughbred
My second visit out to Dave and Tracie’s actually entailed a chance to ride their horses. My charges were Marahute, a teenage Appy/Arab mare, and Classic, a 20-year-old Thoroughbred mare. At first I split my time between the two. I like a horse that needs a little bit of work, that’s going to keep me challenged and thinking. That was Marahute.
But riding Classic was like coming home.
The 15.2 chesnut with a white blaze had all the trappings of a refined Thoroughbred mare. The delicate muzzle, the soft brown eyes, the long legs. She had a comfortable trot with just a little spring to it and a rolling, gorgeous canter. She was light in my hands and off my legs. And she had that extra little bit of energy that I love in Thoroughbreds.
Classic was willing to try whatever I asked of her. After spending much of her time as a (wonderful) trail horse, she got to play the hunter with me. And she was good at it. She could get that hind end underneath her and have a sweeping working trot, rounding her neck and back just so while staying light. She was such a joy to ride.
Classic reminded me of why I love horses so much, and thoroughbreds in particular. After riding Marahute, who challenges almost every step of the way, Classic was a breath of fresh air. I could feel my whole body (and mind!) relax with her.
Classic could be a little bit of a grump about grooming, was very protective of her space and food, and hated to be tied. But those were just little quirks that we learned to deal with.
She knew exactly who she was, where she stood in the herd, and what she wanted out of life.
The Heartache Of Horse Ownership
When I first met her, Classic was developing just a tinge of arthritis in her hocks. It was just enough to make her the tiniest bit stiff when she first got going, but she’d work out of it very quickly. The exercise was good for her; developing the muscles around the affected joints providing strength and relief.
But over the last year, the arthritis had gotten worse; enlarging her joints, weakening her back end, and making her uncomfortable. Dave, Tracie, and the vet decided to retire her from riding last winter. But she would stand and stare as we rode the other horses, pricking her ears dancing around, making it obvious that she wanted out too. So, Tracie and I would take her out for a bareback walk/trot ride. She’d shove her head into the bridle, drag you out of her stall, and take off trotting when you were mounted. We are all about listening to our horses, and Classic very clearly said she wasn’t ready to be retired yet. So we kept her in light work.
But then in August, Classic lay down for her afternoon nap and couldn’t get back up. She didn’t look too distressed or uncomfortable, she just didn’t have the strength to get those back legs under her. Dave and Tracie almost had to put her down that day, but made a last ditch effort to get her up … and she did.
Even though mentally Classic didn’t want to be retired, physically it was time.
We knew at that point that our days with our well-loved horse were truly numbered. Over the next few months there were more incidents as she continued to weaken. But there were also long grooming sessions, hours of hand grazing, and playing at liberty in the ring. Classic just kept hanging on. It was obvious in her face that she just wasn’t ready to go yet.
Saying Goodbye
The vet and many horsey friends had assured Tracie that she would know when it was time to let go. After 15 years together, with an extra three months to pamper her, prepare mentally and emotionally (as much as you can anyway), and say goodbye, it was time.
Today, for the first time in a very long time, Classic can run without hurting. She can lay down, have a good roll, and get right back up. She doesn’t have to worry about being too weak or hurting too much. She can be young and healthy again.
That’s the gift you’ve given her, Tracie.
Some gifts are more difficult to give than others. And this is a painful one – for all of us. It may never feel like the right decision to let her go. But it was the kinder one.
I know that Heaven is going to be much better than any of us could ever possibly imagine. And I also know that we can’t imagine it without Classic. God loves us and wants nothing more than to bless us, and for that reason I believe that she is there waiting.
It’s not goodbye forever, it’s just goodbye for now.
[...] It was planned ahead of time, so I was able to put my thoughts together ahead of time and write a tribute to Classic for my Ace’s blog. Please stop over there and read about this wonderful [...]
What a beautiful post. Classic sounds lovely. Send Tracie my love and thoughts. Saying good bye is the hardest part about horses…no matter how we try and get them up in years they will never live as long as we will. My heart goes out to everyone and I am sure that Classic is much happier now. I am stealing SolitareMares line but it really helped me get through the loss of heart this summer…”To give up legs for the wings of an angel is a fitting gift for a noble friend.”
Thank you, Jackie for such a lovely tribute to our dear Classic. You have no idea how much it meant for us to have you with us today as we said our final goodbyes (“until we see you on the other side of the pearly gates”) to this wonderful friend. Your support, hugs and tears were a salve that helped soothe the wounds of our hearts. Your kind words will be remembered and cherished for years to come.
For most people, if they are lucky and they don’t miss it, there comes along a “once in a lifetime” partner who fills their lives with joy in a way that no one else can. Who lets them soar without fear of being ridiculed. Who lets them dream without pointing out how reality won’t allow it. Who shares a passion in a way that no one else can. I have been blessed to see Classic be that partner to Tracie. And I have been blessed to have Tracie be that partner to me.
For the last 15 years, Classic has been in every day of our lives. We are so lucky to have hearts full of fond memories of our times with her. Trail rides we’ve shared with her and Marahute. Exploring (or blazing) unknown trails. Gaining her trust in the early years, learning her quirks and her endearing habits. We really can’t remember back to when she wasn’t a part of our lives. She and Marahute became a cement in our relationship as well,setting the stage for us to grow deeper in love with each other as we shared a common passion for God’s most stunning creatures. Our horses have been a bond between us.
They have also been a bond between the two of us and many of our “horsey-friends.” Of these friends, you are truly one of the special ones. We are thankful that God brought you into our lives 3-1/2 years ago. Isn’t it awesome how we’ve become so deeply involved in each others lives due to these magnificent animals?
Thank you again for being with us today. It has been one of the most difficult days that either of us has ever endured. Although the grieving process began in August when Classic had her first serious challenge, we know that it will continue for some time to come. We appreciate the kind words from the compassionate friends who visit your blog. We also cherish your prayers.
We love having you and Ace as a part of our family, and know that we will share many more monumental moments, both joyful and sorrowful, with each other. We love you,
Dave & Tracie
Classic sounds like a wonderfully sweet and talented horse. This decision was not easy, they never are, but it sounds as if it was the right thing to do. She was hurting and ready to go on to a better place. Dave and Tracie are lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much. I read their letter and know they are thankful you were there on this very sad occasion. Classic had a good life with people who loved her and that should make you all feel good to have given her the best time she could have while she was with you all.
I lost my ‘once in a lifetime’ guy after 15 years last April to colic. The surgery didn’t work so I had to make the heart-wrenching decision to put him down. I couldn’t wake him up to say goodbye and let him suffer even for a few minutes. It helps me to think that he has found his best friend ‘Lifeguard’ who we had to euthanize a few years before and who he always missed. I think of them both galloping through the open meadows and drinking from clear mountain streams side by side. I’m sure Classic will find some old friends of hers to play with and have fun again, without pain or weakness.
All my best to you and Dave and Tracie and everyone who loved Classic. It will be hard for a long time, but the good memories and pictures you have of her will help you get through the grief.
All my sympathy to everyone in this time of sadness.
Jackie -
I think it is such a gift that you wrote this for Tracie and Dave. I’m gonna share a piece of an email that I sent a girlfriend, struggling to feel ‘merry’ during this upcoming holiday season. She lost her mom this year
… you’re entitled to and justified in feeling sad. Trust and believe that it will pass. I think of grief like the ocean tide … sometimes the waves come crashing in, pounding the surf and you don’t know how you can get through it. But you do. Other times the waves are washing ashore, and other times still, the water just laps at the beach. Know that during those times when you feel it crashing down on you, that you are being carried by the love and support of people’s prayers, in God’s loving arms. So rest there. Don’t even fight the surf. Be sad. Be tossed. And you’ll wash up feeling drained. But you’ll be able to breathe again.
The same holds true for the grief over losing Classic. Remind Tracie that she doesn’t have to put on a happy face for anyone.
Take care,
Diana
I wish I had an adequate response to all of you, especially you Dave, but sometimes there just aren’t words.
Thank you all for your caring and support, especially for Dave and Tracie’s sakes. I loved Classic too, but she wasn’t my baby like she was theirs. Dave did wonderful justice to their her in his comment (which I need to remember NOT to read at work because it makes me teary). And thank you all too, for opening up and sharing some of your similar stories. It’s always good to know there are others who understand and have felt what you feel. Our horses are so special to us, and it really takes other horse people to truly understand.
Dear Jackie – I am so sorry that this great mare is gone, but it is good to know that Dave and Tracie were able to do what’s best for Classic. About 9 years ago, my friends, Joe and Patricia, had to make the same incredibly difficult decision about their Paint stallion, Dusty. My daughter, who was only 6 years old and learned to ride on this sweet Teddy Bear horse, cried so hard. She said to me, “Mommy, I think my heart is breaking.” Then, later that night, she looked out the window at a dark sky full of clouds that were lit by the moon. “Dusty’s up there in Heaven with Grandpa now.” she told me. Even today, she misses him and talks about him. So, I know that Classic will never be forgotten and that Tracie and Dave are lucky to have you in their lives too. My heart is with you guys.
Tracie & Dave,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much you both cared for Classic and can’t imagine what you’re going through.
But I do know that Classic had a life full of love, care and friendship with you. For the short time that I helped look after her it was easy to see how happy and content she was. Whenever I think of her I think of how eager she was to steal those apples out of my hand on her way back outside!
She was a beautiful horse and will now be free to run and play free of pain because you knew that it was time to let her go.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Cat & Derek
We met Classic once but Dave and I go back to college days where I met one of the best friends a guy could ever have. And we’ve known Tracie since they were married. As such. Classic was blessed to be owned by Dave and Tracie. We own two horses. one of which is built, colored and acts like Classic. I know how this horse has become a part of our life so I can not begin to imagine how hard it would be to put a family member like Classic to rest. It is hard enough to write even these few words. It is little enough solace but don’t ever forget that as much as Classic made you feel happy and lucky, your love and care made her a happy, lucky horse for much of her life. Gone, yes. Forgotten, never.
This idea is very great. Thanks for all caring support me.The surgery didn’t work so I had to make the heart-wrenching decision to put him down. I couldn’t wake him up to say goodbye and let him suffer even for a few minutes.
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